Just in case.

Sometimes people have things that they hope they never have to use.  Supplies stashed away for that rainy day.  Just a little something.  Just in case.

I woke up the next morning, and I felt so much better than I had the day before.  My pillow was not covered with hair.  That right there was a definite plus!  I was starting the day, fresh and new, and that felt good too.  I went over and looked in the mirror.  Even that wasn’t so bad today.  It was much less shocking than it had been only the night before.

But, I was still in my bedroom, at this point.  Now I had to decide what I wanted to do about my head before I ventured out of this space.  I could just walk around with my shaved head.  True.  That was an option.  I loved the people who were brave enough to rock that look, but I wasn’t ready for that just yet.  I had gotten a little box ready for this occasion.  Like a no-hair emergency preparedness kit.  A just-in-case box.  It was stocked with some essentials so I would have some choices if (okay, when) I lost my hair.  I had a few hats that I bought just-in-case.  Baseball type hats.  Bucket hats.  There were those.  I thought bandanas were kind of cute, but the problem is that an average size bandana still leaves the back of a person’s head uncovered.  That didn’t sound very comfortable to me just yet either.  But I had another choice.  My hats.

My mother-in-law is a quilter.  She makes the most amazing quilts.  Ever.  She acts as if she isn’t good at making things other than quilts, but don’t let her fool you.  She can make anything.  And it is always beautiful.  And amazing.  Always.  I have no idea how she does it, but she has an incredible talent.  She knew that I had been gathering up hats for my just-in-case box, but that nothing seemed right.  She started looking.  She looked around and told me that she found a pattern for a hat.

When she first found the pattern, I wasn’t sure about the whole thing.  Remember, I hadn’t lost my hair yet.  Don’t waste your time just yet, I said.  I might never lose it.  She smiled kindly.  She would let me have my denial.  She decided she would make me a few.  Just.  In.  Case.  And she did.

And that just-in-case day had arrived.   I pulled out one of her hats.  In the box, the hat looked kind of funny.  This hat was a cross between a bandana and a hat, I suppose. It was designed for people going through cancer. When it was on, it had the same look as a bandana. It tied in the back in the same way a bandana would. The difference was that the hat had more fabric, so it didn’t leave the back open the way a bandana did, and it was slightly padded so it would be soft and comfortable. The cute look of a bandana. The function of a hat.  Whereas before I was not sure about this odd-looking little hat, I now completely understood its shape and function.  And.  It was perfect.

I got ready for the day (and yes, it was much faster without having hair to wash and style — bonus).  I put on my hat.  The fabric was simple so it would match a lot of my clothes.  It was actually kind of cheerful.  I was thankful for my mother-in-law who was thoughtful enough to look for the pattern, was talented enough to make this hat, was wise enough to quietly have one ready, even when I was still in denial, and was determined to help me find a way to be comfortable in my new skin….just-in-case.

* I am going to try to see if I can find a pattern for one online, and post it.

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4 thoughts on “Just in case.

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